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Red... Red Rose
Inn Along the Way/Chapman Farm, Damariscotta, ME
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The grace of acceptance may be the most challenging lesson I have faced in the Way. It is a lesson in process and will be as long as I walk around with this body. Likely, many of us can say the same. Very little in secular culture encourages us to live this wisdom of acceptance. And, often prayer is presented as a means not so much for grace to accept but to beg God to change what we dislike. However, the more we learn acceptance, the more joy we will experience. Joy and acceptance arise together. Indeed, we can accept a present sadness and know, at the same time, a present joy. It is a joyful experience totally to live "Yes" to a sadness - the two are not exclusive of each other.
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In the Christian Bible, there is a remarkable scripture about the grace of acceptance. An apostle, Paul, prays to his God to relieve him of suffering called a "thorn in the flesh" (2 Corinthians 12.7, AV). He notes how he had been given divine revelations, and this "thorn" was given to keep him humble. We do not know what the "thorn" refers to, and, for us, it does not matter - any "thorn" is a "thorn." We all have received some "thorn," and they can serve to tone down our ego-centeredness. So, here are words about the grace of acceptance that oft does not remove the "thorn" in our lives, but enables us to live with it.
Three times I begged the Lord to make this suffering go away. But he replied, “My gift of undeserved grace is all you need. My power is strongest when you are weak.” ... Yes, I am glad to be weak or insulted or mistreated or to have troubles and sufferings, if it is for Christ. Because when I am weak, I am strong (2 Corinthians 12.7-10, CEV).
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Today, I will share a Sufi story from the tradition of the Wise Fool, or Crazy Wisdom. Wise fools are found in differing spiritual traditions. You may even know a crazy fool who has inspired you to live more fully the Truth. These sages, known or unknown, do and say odd, confusing, shocking, and offensive things to help wake others up spiritually from the collective slumber brought about by socialization. Recall Jesus going into the temple courts, throwing over the money changers' tables, and rebuking persons for making "my Father's House a den of thieves." Or when he said the only way to have life is to "eat my flesh and drink my blood." On the surface, this sounds crazy; to those who can see, it is wisdom. Crazy wisdom is not crazy, but it may appear so to persons inoculated from living wakeful in the natural wonder of being immersed in the totally baffling and awe-inspiring Life.
So, in fitting in with others, we can become un-fit to recognize the Sacred and appreciate the glory and grace about us. We see onto things but not into them - that is, we lack insight, or in-seeing, seeing within. We may be knowledgeable about many things, knowing about them but not knowing them. Spiritual wisdom is a knowing that gets deep inside the bones, it is more felt than thought about.
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Well, here is a story from the tradition of the wise fool, Mulla Nasrudin, from Sufism, a contemplative, mystical sect of Islam - there are exceptions, as some non-Muslims have embraced Sufism.
Nasrudin planted seeds, anticipating them to germinate and become a garden of beautiful flowers. He waited in anticipation, seeing the beautiful flower garden all abloom in his mind. Yet, the garden did not come to be what he had planned. - Sounds like life, doesn't it?
Dandelions grew up among the other flowers. Distressed, Nasrudin visited gardeners in the region, each offering advice to keep dandelions out of a garden. Nothing worked. So, Nasrudin traveled to the capital. He shared his problem with the royal gardener. The royal gardener offered solutions but learned Nasrudin had already heard of and tried them. After hearing this, the royal gardener paused in silence. After a time, he looked at his visitor and said, "Well, then, I suggest you learn to love them."
Can you say, "I'm willing to love everything in my life"? Or pray, "Grace me to bless it all"? Such statements make no sense to most persons. To Wisdom, it makes perfect sense, especially when we see that such love and welcome is not a sentimental or emotional experience - it is more a union with, a respect for. Life asks for our acknowledgment in all its forms, saying, "I belong, too."
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We each have dandelions in our lives. The dandelions represent what we did not or do not want and cannot do anything about. The royal gardener connotes the inherent wisdom within us: the divine feminine archetype - which comes in many forms - Holy Spirit, Sophia, God, the Light, ... Nasrudin is each of us. We get disappointed with what appears in our life.
In times we are challenged by a "thorn," do we stop to listen to the Sage within - what some teachers call the Sat Guru, or Holy Spirit? Or do we just run about futility trying to impose our will on nature and try to force it to be different?
I was in a troubled relationship. I did not know what to do. It was three years of pain. One day, when I was quiet, I heard, "Be still." Over twenty years since, I vividly recall that moment, exactly where I stood in my bedroom. Yet, I was not ready to be still. I wanted to handle the situation myself. I pushed toward a solution to the suffering. I often recall that moment and refusal to listen to, "Be still."
So, our habit energy propels us onward, when we need to stop, quieten, and listen. To move to acceptance, we may have to sit for a time in the fire. Yet, the fire is not there to maim us but to soften us, to cool down our aggression in trying to eliminate what we esteem does not fit in "my" life. After the softening, we may see whether something does need out of our life or not.
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As for the dandelions, we can tolerate them in a fatalistic way… "Well, I'll just accept it, I guess. After all, there's nothing I can do." – Do you hear the sigh? - This 'negative' acceptance can lead to anger, denial, resentment, and feeling like a victim. A 'positive' acceptance is a proactive response, whereby we choose to welcome, if possible even give thanks for, the dandelions. We may not learn to like or love them, but we move beyond tolerating them to accepting them - all true acceptance is positive acceptance.
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We can engage in spiritual practice from our particular wisdom path for acceptance. A prayer for the grace of acceptance. Meditation… practicing letting go, or letting be. Visualization. Positive affirmation. Scripture recitation. Nurturing an attitude of gratitude. Receiving spiritual guidance from someone more mature or skilled in the Way than we are. Confession when seeing we are reacting in ways not true to our True Self. A mindful walk in the wood. Intentional kindness to someone else is a wonderful way to shift attention, share positive energies, and look at things in a lighter way.
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When we shift from resistance to acceptance – even welcome - we change. We see the dandelions differently than prior, for the shift has occurred within us, not outside. We live with less stress. We feel more empowered to change what we can. We may even come to see a dandelion we did not want as sent into our lives for our good or as a lovely rose we before could not see as a beautiful rose.
Anyway, is not a dandelion made out of the same stuff as the other flowers in the garden? It is a flower, too - right? So, everything in our lives can be present to bless us, when we allow that. And, it is okay to take some time to get to the point of acceptance. We often need time to reach that point of "Thy Will Be Done" - or however you say it in your wisdom path. Yet, even saying something like "Thy Will Be Done" can engender in us the grace of acceptance.
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*©Brian K. Wilcox, 2022.
*Use of photography is allowed accompanied by credit given to Brian K. Wilcox, and title and place of photograph.
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse.
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